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Disobeying parents and being to scared to apologize

Fatwaa ID: 1694

I havent done thisIf someone is scared to apologize to parents because they are scared of yelling or maybe in general feel bad, what can they do in this case? Can they make dua and try to avoid it?

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

May Allaah Ta’aala bless you and make you the coolness of the eyes of your parents.

Shari’ah has emphasized and placed great importance on treating the parents well and being dutiful to them. This is an obligation that comes after tawheed. It is haraam and a major sin to treat them disrespectfully and/or harshly. Even if the parents are wrong, then too it is necessary to deal with them honorably and respectfully.

Rasulullaah ﷺ said regarding the father,

رِضَى الرَّبِّ فِي رِضَى الوَالِدِ، وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ
“The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the father.” [Tirmidhi 1899]

He ﷺ also said,

الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه
“The father is the middle door of Jannah. So (the choice is yours) either discard that door (by disrespecting your father) or protect it (by honoring and obeying him).” [Ibn Maajah 3663]

He ﷺ also said in regards to disobedience of the parents,

لعن الله العاق لوالديه
“May Allaah curse the one who is disobedient to his parents.” [Haakim 7254]

In regards to punishment, he ﷺ said,

كل الذنوب يؤخر الله ما شاء منها إلى يوم القيامة إلا عقوق الوالدين فإن الله تعالى يعجله لصاحبه في الحياة قبل الممات
“Allaah may delay the punishment of all sins as He wishes until the Day of Judgment except showing disrespect to one’s parents; for indeed Allaah will hasten the punishment of that sin to its perpetrator prior to his death.” [Haakim 7263]

In the enquired situation, you have not stated the crime or wrong you have done. If it is something which involves resolving, reimbursement, etc., then you must do that. There is no way out of that. If it involves disobedience or things of that nature, then you can make it up by becoming a better child. Strive to earn their pleasure and happiness moving forward. That will do away with the previous displeasure. Make du’aa for them as well.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

02/13/1445 AH – 08/30/2023 CE | 582

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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