Sunday, May 26, 2024
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Extravagant wedding and inequality between children

Fatwaa ID: 1310

Assalamualaikum wrwrb
Husband and wife have 3 children (1 male and 2 females)

Husband has 2 properties plus gold from his mother and wife has 1 property (her share from her parents) and gold which she got in her marriage. Now, for the first daughter, they used husband’s mother’s gold and sold one property of his and used more than half of the money to get her married, gave her 40 sovereign of gold. Now for the second daughter they are using the rest half of the money and thinking of selling wife’s property to get the second daugher around 40 sovereign of gold and to do her marriage. May or maybe not some money might remain but no idea whom will it go to. Now the son gets only around 15 sovereign for his wife from his parents (also got married with his own income and not from parents money cuz they couldn’t afford) while both the sisters got 40 sovereigns. And now the last property (i.e., the husband’s property will be distributed among all the 3 heirs 2 part for the guy and 1 part to both the sisters).
Is this fair to the male child?

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh

At the outset, we wish to remind you that extravagant weddings, especially where you are putting yourself in financial burden like in the enquired situations, is impermissible and contrary to the values and teachings of Islam. Such weddings devoid the marriage of barakah and khayr. Pleasing the people and seeking their validation must be avoided. You made the mistake once. There is no need to repeat it. Use that money wisely. You will be asked about every single cent on the Day of Judgment.

It is not clear what you mean by “will be distributed among all the 3 heirs”. Are you referring to distributing during the lifetime? Or are you referring to after death of either parent? In the latter case, the surviving spouse and perhaps other family members will also be part of the heirs.

It should also be noted that giving to the spouse of one’s child is not the same as giving to the child himself/herself. If something is gifted to the wife of one’s son, then that will belong to her, not to him.

Nevertheless, when it comes to gifting to one’s children during one’s lifetime, it is essential to maintain equality between them unless there is a genuine reason to do otherwise. Gifting unequally or favoring one child over the other results in building enmity and ill feelings between the siblings. This breaks families and that is prohibited. You should consult with the family and see what is in the best interests of the family in maintaining the unity and love.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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