Sunday, July 14, 2024
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Favoritism in dealing with one’s children

Fatwaa ID: 1552

السلام عليكم
A question a sister asked to forward on:

My parents favour my sister more despite me doing so much for them, I don’t expect anything and will still serve my parents but they don’t check I’m okay even when pregnant and have had complications, but they check on my sister everyday and will make sure she’s okay especially my mom. I don’t want to feel left out or envious but I do wish I mattered as well. Is there a dhua I can recite as these feelings are so sad and make me feel depressed, I mentioned it to my mom but nothing changes. Can you help with something to ease this please jzk

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Sister in islam,
May Allaah Ta’aala make you the coolness of your parents’ eyes. May He grant you comfort and happiness in both lives. May He crown your service to your parents with acceptance.

As parents, it is their duty to maintain equality between children. This ensures harmonious relationships in the family. When favoritism is found, it creates ill feelings.

As children, it is your duty to selflessly serve your parents and be dutiful to them. Your reward is with Allaah Ta’aala. Do it for Him, not them. He sees the good that you are doing and will most certainly reward you in both worlds. You will see the effects of your good. He will not let any good of yours go to waste.

We understand that it can be frustrating. It is normal and understandable to want to feel recognized and be appreciated for the good one does, especially from one’s parents. When you make your purpose the pleasure of Allaah Ta’aala alone, it is easier to overcome this difficulty. You matter in His Eyes, and that is really what matters. He loves you and hence gave you the opportunity and ability to serve your parents. You will see the rewards of this during your lifetime as well as in the Hereafter.

You may recite the following du’aa, اللّهُمَّ أَلِّف بَيْنَ قُلُوبِنَا.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

01/14/1445 AH – 08/01/2023 CE | AML1-8118

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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