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How do I go about dating a Christian girl online (halal way)

Fatwaa ID: 2186

Question:
Assalamu alaikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh,
I have found myself in a complicated position which won’t leave my mind unless I know I’m making the right decisions.
I (Muslim, 18M, living in EU) have met a girl online (Christian, 17F, living in another country from the EU) and have fallen in love with her since the last month.
Over the last few weeks, we have been texting, joking etc.. and overall enjoying each others company to the point where we became actual partners ( Had I not been ignorant in the first place, this would’ve never happened )
This was up until next week, when I discovered that it is in fact haram to be texting someone from the opposite sex even on social media for any non-serious reasons, and so on after a lot of thinking and praying, I decided to tell her my reasoning and break up with her, the issues being here are:

1) If we actually want to keep on texting as usual, that would require the presence of someone who is Muslim from her family to be present which is not currently possible so is there any way around that?
2) If we want to get married any time soon because we’re actually pretty serious about each other, there are a lot of obstacles: her age- the distance between us- the absence of a “Wali” from her side of family…
so what can we do in this position?
3) Per say, we are not meant to be together in the end, I don’t want to bear the regret of hurting someone especially since we were keen on getting married as soon as possible ( that’s almost impossible at the moment for a variety of reasons some of which were mentioned before) and I have kept on asking for forgiveness from Allah and from her on multiple occasions ( and I will keep on doing so till otherwise ).

Yes, I was in a haram online relationship, but I regret it and I want that to not leave any bad effects on another human being because that will follow me for the rest of my life and obviously in the akhira.
What would you do if you were in my position?

Thanks you for any advice given and Alhamdulillah anyway.
May Allah guide all of us in the right direction.

PS: I did indeed submit a few forms like this one since I’m trying to make educated choices, thanks.

Answer:
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

We take note of the details of your query. We note that you have sent this query to other platforms as well. It is generally our policy that we do not answer such questions. As for your reasoning that you want to make an educated choice, that is false and incorrect. Fatwa-shopping is harmful and will leave you confused. Consult one scholar or Darul Iftaa whom you have confidence in and follow their advice.

Nevertheless, in the enquired situation, as you have correctly acknowledged, your interactions with her are haraam. You must cut off all interactions with her with immediate effect. There is no halaal alternative or way around this aside marriage. Furthermore, you should understand that even if a family member or wali was present, then too it would not be permissible for you to have unrestricted conversations with her.

You may tell her that you are doing so to maintain your chastity and stay away from haraam for the sake of Allaah Ta’aala. That is better for both of you. If it is meant for you to marry her, then Allaah Ta’aala will make it happen. If it not meant, then it will never happen. Trust His wise decision and leave it to Him. Continue making du’aa to be paired with the person who is most suitable and compatible with you. At the current moment, focus on what is pertinent and beneficial for you.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
https://askthemufti.us/

08/21/1445 AH – 03/02/2024 CE | 897

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


We advise you to study the following books,

-Seeking the Shade of the Arsh: Guidance for the Youth
http://yunuspatel.co.za/downloads/GUIDANCE-FOR-THE-YOUTH.pdf

-Removing the safety net
https://yunuspatel.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Removing-the-Safety-Net.pdf

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