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Husband refuses to do istinjaa

Fatwaa ID: 2327

Assalam alaikum

My husband refuses to do istinjah after using the washroom and most times he does not was his hands either

I have told him repeated times that this is obligatory and that his body stays in a state of impurity if he doesn’t follow, but he says I am wrong and does not listen to me despite multiple reminders.

I feel very dirty about it and don’t like him touching food or kitchen items and even me.

Please guide me, am I right in what I am telling him? How can I resolve this issue and the way I feel?

Jazakallah khair

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Shari’ah has emphasized the importance of cleanliness and purity. Allaah Ta’aala says in the Qur’aan regarding those who used water to purify and clean after relieving themselves,

وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُطَّهِّرِينَ
“Allaah loves those who thoroughly purify themselves” [at-Tawbah 108]

Rasulullaah ﷺ said,

الطهور شطر الإيمان
“Cleanliness is half of faith.” [Muslim]

In principle, it is not necessary to use water after relieving oneself unless the impurity has spread from the exit point a size of a dirham, which is approximately 3 cm in diameter. Notwithstanding this legal ruling, it is advisable and encouraged for a person to use water in all cases, even when the impurity does not spread as such, as that is more hygienic and pure.

In the enquired situation, we commend you for your hygienic nature. However, it is not clear what your husband’s situation is. Instead of commanding him or pestering him, perhaps communicate your concerns and reasonings with him. Understand his point of view. Work together in seeing what can be done for him to opt for what is better.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

11/03/1445 AH – 05/11/2024 CE | 1034

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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