Fatwaa ID: 1629
Dear Mufti I beg for help, as I did haram and unforgivable sin, I did zina. I’m 21 years old and I did such a big thin that I am so ashamed of and regret of. I did so much pain to my family and I want to do a suicide but as I am breathing now Allah gave me a chance to heal what I did but everything is going worse.
We went on a family trip and had a good rest. With us was a friend of my father (he is 46 years old), he treated me and my family very well all the time while he was with us. At the end of the trip, 5-6 days before our departure, he forcibly kissed me on the lips, I wanted to tell my parents, but I was very scared because it was my father’s childhood friend. I wanted to solve this problem with him and hide it, but he began to say how much he loves me and that he has been waiting for me all his life, he gave gifts and helped around the house, he was very kind and polite to me. We started chatting privately. When I tried to discuss what happened, he kissed again and again and touched me in forbidden places. I liked it and fell in love with him. Having deceived my parents, he stayed alone with me and took me to a hotel, where I almost lost my virginity, but stopped him. He promised to marry and that he would settle all the problems himself and explain everything to my parents. After that, we continued to communicate in private messages. Two days before our departure my mother found out our private chat and told everything to father.
They severely beat and kicked me and abandoned me in this world and the next. I wanted to commit a suicide, but they did not give me the chance , I wanted to run away so as not to hurt them with my presence, but they took away my passport and phone. They forcibly dragged me home and my father said that he would return his words of discontent if I got married and be happy, and my mother said that she would return her words that she would rather not feed me with milk. Now they are forcing me to marry. After all that I have done, I do tauba and ask Allah to forgive me and my unforgivable sin and the pain that I caused to my family. I want to ask, I beg you to help me find the answer, if I agree to a marriage that I absolutely do not want to enter into for the sake of my parents, will my nikah be halal? Can I flee the country so as not to bring disgrace to my parents?
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.
May Allaah Ta’aala shower upon you His infinite mercy and grace. May He overlook your shortcomings and grant you the strength to heal.
There is no sin that is unforgivable. Allaah Ta’aala lovingly forgives as long as one turns to Him with sincere tawbah and istighfaar. No sin is too big for Him to forgive. His mercy is far greater than our sins.
Ponder over the following. Allaah Ta’aala says,
قُلْ يَاعِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
“Say (O Prophet): (Allaah declares to humanity) O My beloved servants! Those (of you) who have committed (sins in great) excess against their own souls, never despond of the mercy of Allaah! For, indeed, Allaah forgives the sins, one and all. Indeed, it is He (alone) who is All-Forgiving, the Mercy-Giving.” (Az-Zumar v.53)
وَإِنِّي لَغَفَّارٌ لِمَنْ تَابَ
“And, indeed, I am Most-Forgiving of whoever repents.” (TaaHaa v.82)
Rasulullaah ﷺ said,
قال الله تبارك وتعالى: يا ابن آدم إنك ما دعوتني ورجوتني غفرت لك على ما كان فيك ولا أبالي، يا ابن آدم لو بلغت ذنوبك عنان السماء ثم استغفرتني غفرت لك، ولا أبالي، يا ابن آدم إنك لو أتيتني بقراب الأرض خطايا ثم لقيتني لا تشرك بي شيئا لأتيتك بقرابها مغفرة
“Allaah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you call upon Me and hope in Me, I will forgive you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I do not mind. O son of Adam! If your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky, then you were to seek forgiveness from Me, I will forgive you, and I do not mind. O son of Adam! If you come to me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you meet Me not associating anything with Me (as partners), I will come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Tirmidhi 5408)
إن الله عز وجل يبسط يده بالليل ليتوب مسيء النهار، ويبسط يده بالنهار ليتوب مسيء الليل، حتى تطلع لشمس من مغربها
“Indeed, Allaah the Exalted and Glorious, stretches out His Hand during the night so that the people may repent from the sins committed during the day, and He stretches out His Hand during the day so that the people may repent from the sins committed at night. (Allaah will continue doing this) until the sun rises from the west (i.e. until the Day of Resurrection). (Muslim 2759)
He ﷺ also said,
لله أفرح بتوبة عبده من أحدكم سقط على بعيره وقد أضله في أرض فلاة
“Allaah is more happy with the repentance of His slave than one of you (would be happy) if he suddenly stumbled upon (i.e. found) his camel after having lost it in a desert (and given up all hope).” (Al-Bukhaari 6309)
We take note of the details of your query. You slipped but have realized your shortcomings. That is the most important thing. Allaah Ta’aala blessed you with the chance to turn back to him. Move away from the past and make your future better. Whatever is gone is gone. Do not let it hold you back.
We understand your parent’s dismay and displeasure. It is definitely something hard for them to swallow. Give it some time. Show them that you are regretful over your actions and that you are now a better person.
Do not do anything that will make the situation worse. Do not do anything that will make you regret later on. Once your parents calm down a bit, sit with them and discuss with them. Do not force yourself into a marriage that you do not want to be in. Do not tell or inform others of the wrong that you have done. That is between you and Allaah Ta’aala. Let your parents understand that as well. It will only bring disgrace if it is mentioned to others.
Perform two rak’ahs daily, asking Allaah Ta’aala to make things easy and better. Send salawaat upon Nabi ﷺ abundantly. Everything is in His control. Connect with Him and you will see things get better.
If you require further assistance, feel free to revert to us.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
01/27/1445 AH – 08/14/2023 CE | 554
وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين
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