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Intimacy related questions

Fatwaa ID: 036


Attention: I had submitted the same question before also and I got the mail that my question will be answered but till now no answer has been received. It is taking  a long time to answer the questions. Please see to it and help us get our soulution soon.

We write to you with great hope and to receive correct anwer quickly but when it takes so long like a month or two then we start loosing hope.

Assalamu alaikum,

                   Respected Mufti Sahab, I would like to ask some question regarding bed issues. I have read the book Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam al Kawthari. Alhumdullilah its a nice book. But after reading it full I still have some queries, and I am sure others may also be having this kind of questions in mind. I will not get better guidance and answer from anyone than from here.

1. I am recently married so I want to know that once when me and my wife copulate then after how many days or week again we can have intimate relation. Because the first time after intercourse the mani (sperm) has gone inside the wife, now should we leave doing intercourse as what was required for having a child that is done, so now for how long we have to wait and then we can do it again so that it does not harm the child. Or we can now only do it after nine months or so after the child is born. What is the guide line.

2. Sppose If we can do it, can we do it thrice or four times in a week, is there any harm in it. Or how may times in a month is recomended?

3. If the pregnancy test shows positive after two months of marriage, then should one stop relation completely or can one use condom or without condom and copulate so that is does not harm the child. Cane one have relation when wife is 5 or 6 months pregnant. When should one stop having relation, in the 9th month or before that.

4. What dua should the wife recite for good healthy and nice, pious male child and when. Should she read Surah Maryam, Surah Yousuf and Surah Yaseen daily? Is it that it will have adverse effect due to the effect of the heat of the surahs.    

5. Is there anyting that should be recited or any taweez so that the child is born easy and  normal and not through C-section operation?

6. My wife says that she does not feel anything and she does not enjoy when I insert. It is I who just feels the and enjoys. So when I finish, then by using my fingers I have to make her enjoy and ejaculate. Is it harmful if every time I do it with my hand to make her enjoy.

7. Also I come quick and she takes a long time. Does taking so long is normal in female or is there any problem. What should be done so that both of us enjoy while making relation. What should be the minimum/maximum time until one finishes. Your advice will be appreciated.

8. Can one read both the dua of copulation before hand and then proceed. Because there is chance that one may forget the dua during ejaculation so it is ok to read it before hand. Will one get the benefit and effect of dua if done before.

9. Do one have to  read namaz and recite the dua everytime one wants to have intimate relation with one’s wife. The dua which one recites when husband and wife say nafil paryer together and supplicate ( oh Allah bless my family for me and bless me for my family O Allah unite us with good and separate us , if you do with good.)

10. if one engages in oral sex and the wife is 5 or 6 pregnant then if the sperm goes inside the stomach of the wife does it harm the foetus or the wife in such a condition. Is oral sex haram or makroo.

Was’ Salam

Jazzak Allah!


In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Brother in Islaam,

We make du’aa that Allaah Ta’aala blesses your marriage and fills it with love and harmony.

The answers to your queries are as follows:

  1. There is no limit. You may engage in intimacy and copulate as frequently as you and your wife mutually decide. You do not have to wait for conception or for the pregnancy to be over.
  2. Yes. You may engage in intimacy with your wife multiple times a week or even multiple times a day.
  3. It is permissible to engage in intimacy during the pregnancy. You do not need to use contraceptives. You may refer to your doctor for details on what may or may not harm the fetus.
  4. At the time of copulation, the following du’aa should be recited:

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

“(I commence) in the name of Allaah. O Allaah! Keep Shaytaan away from us and keep Shaytaan away from that which have bestowed upon us.” (Bukhaari)

You may refer to the following links for du’aas that may be recited during pregnancy:

5. Refer to the above links.

6. You may use your fingers[i]. We advise you to refer the matter to a doctor.

7. We advise you to refer to a doctor and seek appropriate counselling and/or treatment.

8. The du’aa may be recited when commencing.

9. It is not necessary to perform salaah before engaging in intimacy. Likewise, it is not necessary to perform any salaah thereafter. If one wishes, then he may do so as a nafl salaah, not as a sunnah.

10. It is not permissible for the husband or wife to ingest any sexual fluids. The sexual fluids are najis (impure)[ii].

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Assistant Mufti, Darul Iftaa
Astoria, New York, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين

[i]  المحيط البرهاني في الفقه النعماني (5/ 332)

وعن أبي يوسف في «الأمالي» قال: سألت أبا حنيفة رضي الله عنه عن الرجل يمس فرج امرأته، أو تمس هي فرجه ليتحرك عليها؛ هل ترى بذلك بأساً؟ قال: أرجو أن يعظم الأجر.

حاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (6/ 367)

وعن أبي يوسف سألت أبا حنيفة عن الرجل يمس فرج امرأته، وهي تمس فرجه ليتحرك عليها هل ترى بذلك بأسا قال: لا وأرجو أن يعظم الأجر ذخيرة

حاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (2/ 399)

ويجوز أن يستمني بيد زوجته وخادمته اهـ وسيذكر الشارح في الحدود عن الجوهرة أنه يكره ولعل المراد به كراهة التنزيه فلا ينافي قول المعراج يجوز تأمل وفي السراج إن أراد بذلك تسكين الشهوة المفرطة الشاغلة للقلب وكان عزبا لا زوجة له ولا أمة أو كان إلا أنه لا يقدر على الوصول إليها لعذر قال أبو الليث أرجو أن لا وبال عليه وأما إذا فعله لاستجلاب الشهوة فهو آثم اهـ.

بقي هنا شيء وهو أن علة الإثم هل هي كون ذلك استمتاعا بالجزء كما يفيده الحديث وتقييدهم كونه بالكف ويلحق به ما لو أدخل ذكره بين فخذيه مثلا حتى أمنى، أم هي سفح الماء وتهييج الشهوة في غير محلها بغير عذر كما يفيده قوله وأما إذا فعله لاستجلاب الشهوة إلخ؟ لم أر من صرح بشيء من ذلك والظاهر الأخير؛ لأن فعله بيد زوجته ونحوها فيه سفح الماء لكن بالاستمتاع بجزء مباح كما لو أنزل بتفخيذ أو تبطين بخلاف ما إذا كان بكفه ونحوه وعلى هذا فلو أدخل ذكره في حائط أو نحوه حتى أمنى أو استمنى بكفه بحائل يمنع الحرارة يأثم أيضا ويدل أيضا على ما قلنا ما في الزيلعي حيث استدل على عدم حله بالكف بقوله تعالى {والذين هم لفروجهم حافظون} [المؤمنون: 5] الآية وقال فلم يبح الاستمتاع إلا بهما أي بالزوجة والأمة اهـ فأفاد عدم حل الاستمتاع أي قضاء الشهوة بغيرهما هذا ما ظهر لي والله سبحانه أعلم.

الفتاوى الهندية (5/ 328)

قال أبو يوسف رحمه الله تعالى سألت أبا حنيفة رحمه الله تعالى عن رجل يمس فرج امرأته وهي تمس فرجه لتحرك آلته هل ترى بذلك بأسا قال لا وأرجو أن يعطى الأجر كذا في الخلاصة

فتاوى قاضيخان (3/ 250)

و لا بأس للرجل أن يمس فرج امرأته * و كذلك المرأة لا بأس أن تمس فرج زوجها لكي يتحرك * قال أبو يوسف رحمه الله تعالى سألت أبا حنيفة رحمه الله تعالى عن هذا فقال لا بأس به و أرجو أن يعطم أجرهما

[ii]  المحيط البرهاني في الفقه النعماني (5/ 408)

إذا أدخل الرجل ذكره فم أمرأته فقد قيل: يكره؛ لأنه موضع قراءة القرآن، فلا يليق به إدخال الذكر فيه، وقد قيل بخلافه

حاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار)   (2/ 404)

(أو وطئ امرأة ميتة) أو صغيرة لا تشتهى نهر (أو بهيمة أو فخذا أو بطنا أو قبل) ولو قبلة فاحشة بأن يدغدغ أو يمص شفتيها (أو لمس) ولو بحائل لا يمنع الحرارة أو استنما بكفه أو بمباشرة فاحشة ولو بين المرأتين (فأنزل) قيد للكل حتى لو لم ينزل لم يفطر كما مر……

(قوله: بأن يدغدغ) لعل المراد به عض الشفة ونحوها أو تقبيل الفرج وفي القاموس الدغدغة: حركة وانفعال في نحو الإبط والبضع والأخمص

الفتاوى الهندية  (44/ 217)

في النوازل إذا أدخل الرجل ذكره في فم امرأته قد قيل يكره وقد قيل بخلافه كذا في الذخيرة .

فتاوى رحيمية  (10/178)


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