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Issue with marriage

Fatwaa ID: 2152

As-Salamu Alaikum, May Allah bless you. I am a married man with a daughter. I have been experiencing some issues in my marriage for the past few years. Despite my efforts to resolve them through communication with my wife and other means, I have not been successful. Ending the marriage is not an option for me as it would negatively impact my daughter’s future.

However, I cannot continue to be physically or intimately involved with my wife. I have discovered instances of her lying and disobeying me numerous times over the years. When confronted, she neither admits her mistakes nor attempts to address the issues. Additionally, she has been sharing details about our marital and personal affairs with her parents and siblings. And it also caused ruining my relationship with my in laws.

My question is: Would it be unjust or unfair if I choose not to sleep with or be intimate with her?

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

We take note of the details of your query. May Allaah Ta’aala fill your marriage with love, happiness and affection. May He guide your wife and grant her the qualities of a true righteous wife.

You may refrain from sleeping with her and being intimate with her temporarily as a disciplinary measure. That is a Qur’anic injunction should advice and admonishing fail. However, refraining from intimacy indefinitely may negatively effect you and her and take the relationship further down.

Be wise. Continue to try communicating the concerns with her. If necessary, have someone influencial to her intervene. Consider marriage counseling. Make sincere du’aa after every salaah. Start daily ta’leem with her and the family. Even if she does not join, continue with it regularly. Try to do things as a family. Try to do things with her alone. Send abundance of salawaat upon Nabi ﷺ. Give some charity regularly.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

08/07/1445 AH – 02/17/2024 CE | 855

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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