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Issues, right before marriage & Family not willing to mend?

Fatwaa ID: 719


Muslim Guy is 25 & the muslim girl is 24.. They met in college, and we soon told our parents about the likings we had for each other.. both their parents decided to get us married.. but soon, few misunderstandings happened and then the guy asked the girl to marry him. when the girl and his family was asked to marry in the coming year, they excused and asked for 2 more years and kept delaying.. she passed out from college this year, now she suddenly backs out of this relationship, saying she is not interested anymore.. for marriage.. because your family has been pressurising.. and plus, you haven’t been the best of a guy in the past 1 year… The guy did commit a mistake too, he told her about his solo private sins, and that he was trying therapy for getting rid of it.. The day this guy asked her to marry, that day, they committed Zina.. so the guilt was so high that guy asked her to marry asap.. but she refused and her family is just absolutely ignorant.. not ready to even talk with the boy’s family.. and this family relation went on for 2 years.. she has emotionally played and managed to blame everything on the guy.. but both families don’t know about the Zina that is committed between the two.. All the sources of contacts have been blocked by the girl..

Should the guy go on and tell atleast his parents? If not hers? She seems very casual about the Zina.. Because the girls family is in a dilemma that their daughter is innocent, and neither willing to mend this relationship at all.. which went on for more than 3 years..

Please guide Sheikh.

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

We take note of the details of your query. The above is a consequence of the haraam illicit relationship that both of you engaged in from the very beginning. The Shari’ah has prohibited unrestricted interactions between the opposite genders who are non-mahrams. This prohibition is for our own benefit and well-being.

Nevertheless, in the enquired situation, the guy and the girl should keep the sin a secret to themselves. It should not be mentioned to the parents of either sides or others. Sincere tawbah and istighfaar must be made.

We understand that both sides or at least one side is hurt. Irrespective of that, this should not lead one side to bad mouth and speak ill of the other. We make plans but things do not always go as we wish. If one side has expressed their decision not to move forward, then the other side should accept and move on. It is not easy but this may be the best course of action.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

08/03/1444 AH – 02/23/2023 CE

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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