Fatwaa ID: 752
Assalamualaikum, in a situation where you had an argument, disagreement, or interaction with someone that really upset or frustrate you, is it okay to go to someone you trust and talk to them about it to let out your frustration? Does this fall under backbiting?
A follow up, how do you ask for advice on what to do in a situation with someone else without backbiting about that person when asking for the advice?
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.
Backbiting or talking negative about others, even if true, is impermissible and a grave sin. It only makes things worse and results in the weakening of the brotherhood/sisterhood. The harms of backbiting are not personal, but rather communal.
Arguments and disagreements will happen and it is only normal. However, our reactions and doings afterwards play a great role in balancing and resolving the issue. It will not be permissible to backbite about others simply to vent or let out one’s frustration. That can be done without taking the person’s name or directly referring to them. If there is a genuine benefit that will make a difference in the situation, then taking the name will be excused. In most cases however, it can be done without it.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
08/09/1444 AH – 03/01/2023 CE | AML1-7203
وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين
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