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Marital issue

Fatwaa ID: 2006


I’m here with great hopes that you can help guide me in my current situation as I have no where else to turn.

Before I state my exact problem I would like to give a little bit of background information. I was previously married at the age of 21yo to someone of my choice and I had two children. We were married for 6 years at which time things in our marriage progressively got worse. The final factor was when he was having an affair with another woman when our children were merely 7 months old. He was also drinking and gambling. After many efforts to try and reconcile, we divorced when our children were 18 months old. I was a single mother for a few years until introduced to a mutual friend in 2019. Alhumdulillah he turned out to be a wonderful person and loved my daughters dearly and we got married the following year. It was a wonderful healthy relationship with all of our friends and family involved in our lives. In the very beginning his family initially did not agree to our marriage because I was previously divorced with children (mostly his mother). However now, his mother and I have a wonderful close relationship and I have a great relationship with his entire family.

We have now been married for almost 3 years. For several months now my husbands behavior towards me has abruptly changed drastically. He is not his usual happy self around me, minimally conversates with me, is not affectionate towards me and does not initiate any intimacy (if we are intimate it is almost forced on my end). We have not had any serious fights or arguments, no other life changes or anything else I can account to this. He has also been slowly acting differently with his mom and surrounding family as well. They all have mentioned he is not himself. He is not using any drugs or alcohol, that I am sure of. I am sure he does not have any other affairs either.

My mother in law continously kept insisting that her son was never like this and that perhaps someone “did something”, in other words some form of black magic, to create a rift between him and I and behave poorly towards his family. I have great faith in Allah and understand that black magic, although it exists, is a very complicated process and not always the explanation for things. Out of desperation, I was casually speaking to a colleague at work whose family has many religious figures back in our home country. She suggested that they can help assist me with this and tell me if indeed someone did black magic. She came back to me with the information that someone did do this, and that it was someone on my husbands fathers side of the family. I’m having a very hard time understanding and believing this. When I shared it with my mother in law, she is insisting that is impossible and that it was someone from my ex husbands family or my ex husband since our divorce was not mutual and that they don’t want to see me happy.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried having several conversations with my husband to ask him what is wrong. I sincerely love my husband and do my best as a wife and mother and hold our family together well, everyone is very happy with me in these terms. I am providing for my husband as a wife in every form I am obligated to. I have been reciting Surah Nas and Falaq frequently as well as praying Tahajjud. I am at a loss of how to handle this anymore and deathly afraid that he will abruptly end the marriage. I do not want this to happen to myself and my children again, especially for the second time, with no fault on my end. I am also concerned and don’t really understand how to tell if this truly is black magic, and if it is, what is the solution. How can I fix this? Any suggestions or help you can provide would mean the world to me. This is a desperate plea from a wife and mother to help me save my marriage and family.

Thank you.

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

May Allaah Ta’aala strengthen your relationship with your husband and fill your marriage with love, unity and happiness. May He continue to keep your relationship with your in-laws blissful.

It is not clear what exactly could be the reason for the sudden change in behavior. We are unable to really comment as we do not know much about the situation. We suggest you refer to your local reputable scholars and seek their guidance. We would like to point out that the evil eye (‘ayn/nazhr) and black magic (sihr) are realities that could affect a person. You may consider referring to a reputable and reliable Allaah-conscious raaqi/’aamil. However, do not accuse anyone of anything in the meantime. Likewise, mental health is also a reality. Your husband may consider seeking appropriate consultation or advice in this regard.

In the meantime, continue making du’aa regularly. Recite Ayatul Kursi and the Quls after every salaah. Make a habit of performing Salaah al-Haajah. Also, sit with your husband and family on a daily basis and study the Ahaadith and Seerah of Nabi ﷺ and the Sahaabah (R). This will bring about mercy and harmony, inShaaAllaah.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

06/16/1445 AH – 12/30/2023 CE | 752

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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