Monday, July 22, 2024
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Marital problem during planning of marriage

Fatwaa ID: 2098

My Nikkah was done last year and this year my rukhsati event had to be done which was a joint event. However, neither side (my family and inlaws) were able to properly collaborate to work on the event and this resulted in arguments and ultimately affected my relationship with my wife as well who currently lives with her parents. Now my wife is even confused about doing rukhsati and neither the families nor me and my wife are on good terms. I tried explaining my wife as well that we shouldn’t let our relationship affect this but that didn’t work as well. Please advise on the matter.

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

May Allaah Ta’aala bless your marriage and fill it with love, happiness and affection.

We would like to remind you that there is no such thing in Islam as a “rukhsati event”. Rukhsati, or a mutual agreement to move in together, is permissible. However, a formal event thereafter is unIslamic. You can mutually decide on a date and move in on that today. If the immediate families wish to get together on that date, then that is fine. We often suffer the consequences of our actions because of adopting unIslamic practices.

In the enquired situation, it is not clear what exactly you are looking for. Both spouses need to look over expectations that were not met and work towards the greater picture. This chapter of your life has just started. Nonetheless, perform two rak’ahs salaah, give some charity, send abundant salawaat upon Nabi ﷺ and then discuss the matter with your wife. If necessary, discuss with your in-laws and parents as well. Take her some gifts. If necessary, ask someone who is influencial to her to speak to her.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York

07/26/1445 AH – 02/07/2024 CE | 814, 816

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين


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