Fatwaa ID: 708
I have a question regarding marriage. What rights does the husband have over the wife and the wife over the husband?
Jazakuallah Khair Ahmed
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.
May Allaah Ta’aala bless your marriage and fill it with love and harmony.
A spouse enjoys many rights on his/her spouse. Fulfilling these rights allows for a marriage to flourish and brings about happiness and bliss in the marriage. Each spouse ought to give preference to the rights of the other over their own.
We advise you to refer to the following books for details on this matter,
-The Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage by Mufti Abdur Rahman Mangera
-A Gift for the Muslim Bride by Shaykh Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed
-A Gift for the Muslim Groom by Shaykh Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed
-Ashraf’s Blessings of Marriage
We wish to share with you a few advices that our esteemed teacher, Mufti Ebrahim Desai (R) had given us,
1. Fear Allah:
It was the noble practice of Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam to conscientize the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Qur’ān. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.
2. Never be angry at the same time:
Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah sallallahu῾alayhi wasallam and sought some advice. Rasulullah sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)
3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other:
Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)
4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire:
Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: “and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)
5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly:
Rasulullah sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.
6. Never bring up mistakes of the past:
Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)
7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:
Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)
8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled:
Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)
9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner:
Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)
10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness:
Nabi sallallahu ῾alayhi wasallam said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)
Download the above advices in a poster form below.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين
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