Fatwaa ID: 1537
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
I would like to address a situation that i am facing
i want to get married to a man who has children and a wife and the reason for this is i want to complete half of my deen
both sides has agreed to the marriage between the guy and myself so I can complete my other half of deen
but we don’t want to let anyone know about it from both of our families as the of the stigma of have another wife in our society and we are not sure if its the right step or wrong our intentions are pure towards each other and we only want to keep it between us and Allahswt..It is not a love marriage but we do know each other for couple years just knowing nothing else not talking or anything.
and didn’t have any bad intentions towards each other we did Address this topic between ourselves and we agreed to take the right steps and make the relation halal.
I would Like advice on weather its the right thing to do,to just keep it between us and not tell anyone ?
I am willing to not let it out to the open to either of our friends or families due to i believe that Allah is the one who will bless us.I am aware it is sunnah for a man to have another wife but as i said i just need advice if we taking the right steps towards our marriage
I am a revert I reverted 4 years ago.I have been in a relationship with a Pakistani man who promised to marry me and make things right but instead i was being used and fell for empty promises we been together for 3 years and he kept saying its to ealry for marriage.He left when i was forcing him to Marry and now he is in Canada.
I really don’t want to be mislead anymore by anyone and that is one of my reasons that i do want to get married to this guy.I want to have an halal relationship with someone who will be there for me and not use me.
Please advise accordingly
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.
May Allaah Ta’aala bless you and pair you with a compatible spouse. May He keep you steadfast upon the Deen. May He keep you happy in both lives.
It is not permissible to have secret marriages. A secret marriage is against the values and teachings of Islam. Nabi ﷺ expressly instructed us to make our marriages publicly known. This is for our own benefit. This protects our rights and honor.
Furthermore, according to the mainstream position and the ideal in the Hanafi legal school, a wali (guardian such as the father, brother, etc.) is necessary. In the absence of the wali, the imaam or the local judicial board serves as the wali. This too is for the benefit of the bride.
Respected sister, you have asked for our advice. Our sincere and humble advice to you is to not go ahead with the marriage in question unless it is publicized with both families. This is aside from the Islamic perspective stated above. It is not uncommon in similar situations like yours for the man to marry simply to take advantage of you. We fear that he will not fulfill your rights, rather he definitely will not be able to do so. You are in a vulnerable position. It may seem nice in the beginning but the true colors are generally seen soon after. We have unfortunately seen dozens of cases like yours. We suggest you reach out to your local imaam and community for assistance in finding a compatible spouse if the suitor in question does not wish to publicize the union. You are in our du’aas.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين
Darul Iftaa New York answers questions on issues pertaining to Shari’ah. These questions and answers are placed for public view on askthemufti.us for educational purposes. The rulings given here are based on the questions posed and should be read in conjunction with the questions. Many answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation.
Darul Iftaa New York bears no responsibility with regard to its answers being used out of their intended contexts, nor with regard to any loss or damage that may be caused by acting on its answers or not doing so.
References and links to other websites should not be taken as an endorsement of all contents of those websites.
Answers may not be used as evidence in any court of law without prior written consent of Darul Iftaa New York.