Monday, April 15, 2024
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Ties of kinship, family problems

Fatwaa ID: 079


Asalaam alaikum, 

Thank you for giving me a chance to ask a question through this way.

My question is about silaturrahim. Who does it appy to? What family members ? Until what degree?  

I have a uncle and a brother in law who fooled and robed me during a transaction. After that they told all family members and people in our community that it was me who robbed them. They tried to split me and my sibling up with these lies. Alhamdoelilah I had everything on paper, signed at the notary with witnesses. So my siblings didnt believe them, except for my sister (Same brother in law’s wife). I showed this document to some family members but the damage was already done. Since my uncle and brother in law r much older then me people tend to believe them. I tried to resolve the problem but they insisted that I have to pay them. Im not planning to pay them since they r the ones who robbed me.

After that they started rumours about me that I committed adultery with a older women and that im a homosexual. Until now people and even kids stil look at me in a strange doubtful way. This uncle disliked me since I was a child. Always looking down on me. Treating me bad, hitting me and talking bad about me to people. I had no choice but to do the transaction with him since my father passed away. So I had to buy him out to keep my mother in same comfortable position.

My second question

After all this you can imagine that im not happy with them. I kept my distance from them since then. I say salaam if I meet them but no more then that.

Since they r the ones who stole and told disgusting lies , are they the ones responsible for breaking selaturrahim? 

Wa jazakumullahu khairan


In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islaam,

If what you stated is the reality of the situation, then the conduct and attitude of your uncle and brother in law is unfortunately incorrect and sinful. If you limited your interaction with them to avoid further fitnah, that will not be breaking family ties[i]. It is an act of caution.

However, the Shari’ah has emphasized on family ties[ii] while you exercise caution in your interaction with them. Do not completely break your ties with them[iii].

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury
Student, Darul Iftaa
New York, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين

[i]  بذل المجهود (13/319)

ومن خاف من مكالمة أحد وصلته ما يفسد عليه الدين أو يدخل مضرة في دنياه يجوز له مجانبته والبعد عنه ورب هجر حسن خير من مخالطة مؤذية 

[ii]  مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح (7/ 3079)

وصلة الرحم كناية عن الإحسان إلى الأقربين من ذوي النسب والأصهار، والتعطف عليهم، والرفق بهم، والرعاية لأحوالهم

[iii]  قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ليس الواصل بالمكافئ، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلها. رواه البخاري


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