Monday, April 15, 2024
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Toxic father

Fatwaa ID: 1408

Question:
Aslm respected mufti saheb

A young girl is in a difficult situation
She’s had a very difficult childhood. She is now 16. Her father is unfortunately an extremely difficult person and struggles to keep family ties. He’s often causing problems. He has 4 kids but targets his oldest (the child in question). It is very painful to watch. From a psychological point of view he would possibly be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Her mother is a lovely person but is a shell of herself. She finds it difficult to stand up to him and in fact allows this harmful behavior to continue. She tiptoes when he’s around and is a happier person when he isn’t. It’s got to a point where they give this child the cold shoulder or swear and disrespect her for things that are not even wrong.

She was told by someone that if she does not talk to her father her duas will not be accepted. Now this child said something worrying “I still make dua but sometimes I think if my duas aren’t going to be accepted anyway, then why should I?”

She requested a knowledgeable person’s opinion regarding this and then maybe she’ll feel better about not actively speaking to him. Because when she does speak to him he ignores her deliberately every single time.

Jazakallah khair

Answer:
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

May Allaah Ta’aala make it easy for her and the family. May He place love and unity in the family.

We take note of the details of the query. If the above reflects the reality, then the daughter may restrict her conversations and interactions with her father to that which is necessary. She does not have to actively speak with him. This will not be deemed disrespectful. Likewise, this would not affect her du’aas. At the same time, she may ensure that she continues to express respect and honor for him. She is accountable for her actions and he is accountable for his actions. She should continue making du’aa for his guidance.

We advise the mother to make du’aa for good guidance as well. Along with that, she should start doing daily ta’leem at the home with the family. Even if he does not come, she should continue with it.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best.
Mufti Muajul I. Chowdhury
Darul Iftaa New York
https://askthemufti.us/

وصل اللهم وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى ءاله وصحبه أجمعين

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